There are oh so many things I hate about the Australian Greens party. Namely the fact they exist. I also hate how they collect enough our tax money along with hippies giving up some of their dole to fund ads. Fortunately, the pen may well be mighter than the sword, they both crumble when faced with my Photoshop skillz…
One thing Australian Labor’s always had going for it that the Libs could never boast, is a range of charismatic ex-PMs to roll out during elections to publicly back their new charge.
Gough Whitlam is of course the Elder Statesman, and still a man of legend in Australian politics in one of its most crazed times. After all, he was the man who gave Australia free university education, universal health care and abolished nationally-endorsed racism in the form of the White Australia policy.
Then there’s Paul Keating, who had the unfortunate luck of inheriting the top job during the 1990s recession, but is still much admired for his Churchillian-style insults against Liberal members he once described Howard as a ‘desiccated coconut’ - and then Malaysian PM Dr Mahathir Mohamad, describing him as recalcitrant and teaching all of Australia a new word with which to insult people.
And there’s good ol’ Bob Hawke. If Whitlam is your grandfather and Keating is your angry goth cousin, then Hawke was your favourite uncle. A lady’s man and maybe a bit of an alcoholic, but damn fun all the same. When Australia won the America’s Cup in 1983, he said it was OK for Australia to take the day off tomorrow to recover from their hangovers. Rather than skirt around journalist’s dumb questions like politicans do today, he’d refuse and tell them to fuck off.
And of course, most importantly, he holds the world record for beer drinking - a yard glass in 11 seconds. That’s 3 pints, or 1.7 litres. Think about the last time you skulled a pint. The sheer mechanics of that much beer into one mouth so quickly to this day amazes this country of professional pissheads, and thus Hawke’s legend is impermeable.
So therefore when ol’ Hawkie opens his mouth, people tend to listen. And this time he’s gone straight for Howard’s jugular:
The Age: Howard ‘buggered up the economy’
This quote sums it up nicely:
“Mr Hawke branded the current prime minister the worst economic manager in Australian history, pointing to Mr Howard’s time as treasurer in the Fraser government.
During that period, he said, unemployment reached 11 per cent, inflation 11 per cent and the budget deficit $9.6 billion - or $40 billion in today’s terms.”
In the Great (mass)Debate last Sunday Rudd raised the - up until now - little told fact that, while interest rates were a pretty awful 17% in the late 80s under Hawke, they were a stifling 22% in the early 80s when Howard was Fraser’s treasurer.
For a leader who trumpets his all edged economic credentials as his primary (some might say only) political advantage over Rudd, little factoids like these are the last thing he’d want entering the public conscious.
Of greater interest though, is Hawke’s support of the union movement. Unsurprising, given he was once ACTU president, but in an election where Rudd has been downplaying Labor’s connection to the unions, Hawke extols its virtuals:
‘Mr Hawke, a former ACTU leader, said Mr Howard owed much to the union movement and its willingness to embrace reform.
Unions in the 1980s could have won big pay rises but worked cooperatively with the Labor government and agreed to forego wage increases to help make Australian industry more competitive.
“It was the restructuring reforms undertaken by my government, with the full cooperation of the trade union movement, which created the strength of the Australian economy today,” Mr Hawke said.’
Finishing with:
“John Howard, rather than attacking the trade union movement, should be down on his bended knee saying ‘thank you’ to them.”
I don’t see that exactly happening any time soon, but it is great to see the 78-year old is as feisty as ever. Just read this bit of literary brilliance:
“This man he’s had so many conversions on the road to Damascus - climate change, reconciliation - if he’s going round the marginal electorates handing out money for roads, he ought to make a contribution to the government of Syria to repave the road to Damascus because he’s worn it out,” Mr Hawke said.
I wonder if the seat of Damasus is marginal?
Let’s be fair: you could forgive Johnny H for letting out an almighty swear upon the news that inflation was on the rise.
The Age: Bank chief faces clear case for rate rise
Inflation itself isn’t that big a deal in this election, but interest rates are, and high inflation is countered through higher rates. Little Johnny campaigned the last election to “keep rates low” and since 2004 they’ve gone up 5 - count them on your hand kids, just like Mr Rudd - times. It was of course a stupid, stupid thing to promise, given the only way the 5% rates of 3 years ago could go was up. But he did, he failed that promise and because so many voters have mortgages we wouldn’t have dreamed 10-15 years ago just to actually get a house, a 6th rise just a couple of weeks before polling day could be a fatal dagger for the Libs. Which is encouraging.
Encouraging too is that Reserve Bank head dude Glenn Stevens categorically stated a couple of months back that if it were necessary who wouldn’t hesitate to pull the rug out from underneath Howard & Co. and raise rates.
This certainly explains why yesterday both Howard and Costello were doing their best to undermine the seriousness of the inflation figures and tell Mr Stevens to keep his hands off the button. Of course neither leader can be seen trying to pressure the Reserve Bank publicly, but I don’t doubt the head honchos have received memos to the likes of ‘increase rates and I will fucking bury you”.
Wishing a Nov. 6 rate rise to see Howard get the arse is quite a cost to ask the average family already doing it tough to bear (we locked in our home loan rate, so nerrr), but the best bullets always come at a price.
This will be the best 5 minutes of work time you’ll waste online today…
Oh it is scary when old people try to use new technology. Recalls a time when at each change of daylight savings I’d be summoned to my grandparents house to adjust a bevy of digital clocks. Gcode was their saving grace for the VCR, but of course that died in the arse so they can’t program it again…
This election has been the first where policies parties have properly sought to make the most of Internet campaigning. Both parties have got FaceBooks and MySpace pages, and have been making the most of YouTube for getting their campaign ads across to the short-attention spanned younger generation who are more likely to take their political advisory from The Chaser and waste their vote with the Greens anyway…
All good fun, except that it pays to know your medium. Or, at least, know how to operate a friggin’ video camera:
Prime Minister John Howard’s leadership message
Maybe some crafty adviser thought it makes him look slimmer, but I reckon ol’ Costello, who was presumably behind the camera, doesn’t know what aspect ratio is.
That’s a major campaign slip up, folks. Wide screen, hi-def TVs are one of the biggest selling consumer goods in this country right now… so how can you trust Johnny H to run the economy when he doesn’t even know the difference between 16:9 and 4:3?
This one is actually quite sad:
The Mercury: Bulldozers to demolish school
On Tuesday night a fire ripped through Bridgewater High, destroying about 75% of the school. As is the style of the area’s demographic, it is believed that the fire was deliberately lit.
Tragically, the school had only just received a $1.5 million redevelopment completed earlier this year.
The following conclusions can be drawn:
Bogan-hate is actually quite high in Hobart currently, if reader comments in The Mercury following reports on violence on buses and in the Mall, as well as other recent arson attacks are anything to go by. This latest development will only fuel the fire, so to speak.
Oh you’ve gotta love election campaigns; everyone just kinda goes nuts, in a prime time TV way.
Watching on SkyNews worm-free it was pretty obvious that K-Rudd won, and everyone except the Liberal frontbench agreed. Not an overwhelming flogging, as polls and general Howard-hating lefty enthusiasm would hope, but clear nonetheless. Whereas Johnny H looked increasingly uncomfortable, at times rather angry and at one point sounding like a pubescent choir boy about to break into a teary, Señor Rudd held his cool, balanced passionate arm waving with cuddly calmness and that winning smile.
In fact it was that winning smile some people are saying unfairly influenced Nine’s infamous and this-time-illegal worm, which jumped up the moment Ruddy beamed and with a similar enthusiasm burried into the bottom of your TV set whenever Old Lucifer himself opened his gob. Liberal Health Minister Tony Abbott - admittedly not a man known for having any sense of reality - claimed Nine’s worm-controlling audience of 100 swing(ing?) voters were biased against John Howard. As if that was somehow their fault? Hmmm…
Of course, those with short memories will have forgotten that both Beazley and Latham had a love affair with the worm during their debates, yet neither ended up running the country, so as with most things, it may well be of zero consequence come Nov. 24th. Mind you, with the new Newspoll shows Labor taking back the Lib’s initial poll boost at the start of last week, things are encouraging.
More concerning though, and this goes beyond the election itself, is the shitstorm regarding Nine’s video feed from The Press Club being cut because of the worm. The banter regarding censorship and whatnot is actually very justified - this is Australia, after all. Banning violent video games and dirty french films is one thing, but censoring legitimate public debate on such an important issue? Of course, we’ve all now aware that the Libs and The Press Club are in cahoots, and Howard mandated that the worm not be broadcast. Which raises the following thoughts:
If we can’t get another debate let’s at least get both leaders on Deal Or No Deal and we’ll finally settle who’s the bigger economic conservative.
The fun continues.